5DM: Broken (2nd verse)

Broken (verse II) by P.e.t.e.r. o.m.e.g.a. (Pain exudes tremendous excess rendering only miracles experienced grant aptitude.)

Listen to the song here (this is about the 2nd verse):
Broken by Truth's End (p.e.t.e.r o.m.e.g.a. & dogfight!)

The devil hit me where it hurt till it doesn't hurt like it should/
So if you peer within you'll find the worst works for my good/

If one hit their fist into a wall enough times for enough days it grows calloused. The callous is the body's automatic defense. My automatic defense is running back to the LORD.

If I'd have seen GOD then, in His seamless trend.../
I may have just found peace in Him.../
Both deeper out and deeper in and turned from my soot/

Clive Staples Lewis introduced this notion to me in his book "The Last Battle" (number seven in the Narnia series) and it b-l-e-w m-e a-w-a-y! Deeper out in this scenario could be in my surrounding circumstances, and deeper in.. well... enough said. The soot is what's left after a fire burns out. Even when my situation would burn itself out, I would remain in the soot and ashes...

Still not conformed to GOD'S Book so a met-a-morphisis/
Is not a term that I took I'd ever afford to grip/

"Do not conform to the ways of the world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind (by reading the Word of GOD.)!" -

If a change was necessary I did better to portion it/
To keep that change forever tarried and never conform to it/

Instead of Paul-esque reformations I only give up "this" and ease up on "that." before I knew it I was right back where I started with "this" and "that" right back in my possession.

Excuses! Each and everyone clever and forged with wit/
All found useless that serve better if severed and torn to bits/
I was so afraid of the truth that I'd never come forth with it/
Until my situations made en-deavor un-fortunate/
Circumstances, which weren't random, and I deserved what was put/
On my plate, so I ate, till my gut curved off the hook/
Of my belt. The taste itself made the plate deserve another look/
Yet I ate till the taste enflamed a rage and I turned to another cook/

Excuses are worthless and justification meaningless when you come to understand who you truly are in the light of Whom GOD truly IS. I started ignoring the truth until my life became such a mess that I couldn't bear it. Yet, not only did I bear it, I entertained it and actually continued as if things weren't that bad until I lost everything in my life that was dear to me. I was looked down on and talked about. Desolate and desperate for change to the point where desperation fueled my will to live for Christ and I begged Him to "teach me how to fight!"

The change, indeed, was mandatory and I'm blessed that the storm was sent/
Better my house to be knocked down than be absorbed by the Crook/
So thank You, Father GOD, that You never caught ghost and split/
And taught me "brokenness" - now let our pain be a worm on Your hook/

For life in Christ my life needed drastic change,and while everything isn't salvageable, anything can be rebuilt. So I praise GOD for the pain because without it I never could have truly known Him as Savior. I praise GOD that my ridiculous life was torn down and washed away before the enemy could invade and use it against me at some future point, or even worse, against the Kingdom of GOD. So now my brokenness is His glory in my testimony and foundation for new life in Christ while also serving as my reminder why that life isn't worth living. So I pray that the LORD will use this pain for His glory and offer it as common ground for understanding when witnessing. In so being, I can know that since GOD saved me HE WILL save anybody looking for His help, placing me out of the place where I judge peoples lives and, instead, pray for people's souls with the truest conviction, in some cases, because Poppa just picked me up out of a similar grave.

Now, listen again:
Broken by Truth's End (p.e.t.e.r o.m.e.g.a. & dogfight!)

5DM: Broken (1st Verse)

5DM

About 5 or 6 years ago P.e.t.e.r. o.m.e.g.a (Emmanuel), Neosapien (Will) and myself got together on one of our many late night talks. Boy, I miss those talks. Our discussion got to Brokenness and what it means to us personally. The talk was so good, we decided to write a song about it. Emmanuel and I went on to write our verses and then recorded it for the song "Broken" on Birth Pains.

Broken by Truth's End (P.e.t.e.r o.m.e.g.a. & dogfight!)

Here's the breakdown of my verse:

walking on broken glass, pieces of my stained past/
shattered from my stained glass window/
what i held as a masterpiece/has been smashed in
pieces/
Jesus, i let go of my waxed ego/

Picture this: a beautiful masterpiece of a church complete with stained glass windows. The stained glass window signifies it's something religious. Everyone looks at it and says "wow! That's a beautiful church". Inside the building may be old and rusty; the windows may be all cobwebbed. But from the outside, you couldn't tell.

Now imagine that to be a person. Life seems pretty good from every angle. Good manners, debt-free, Sunday school teacher, praise and worship leader, etc. People look at him and say "wow! That's a good Christian." Maybe some say "I wish I had his life" or "why can't we all think and live like him?" Or maybe it's "He always has something good to say" or "Dude is so deep!" This guy knows others look at him the way they do; and he loves it. Not necessarily that it is true; but that's what it looks like in the eyes of observers. Now imagine if all that, for whatever reason, disappears. People don't look at him like they used to. That reputation? gone. That stained glass window? Broken. Shattered. Revealing the inside of the building. That's what I see when I think of brokenness. When we can take our past, accomplishments AND failures, and have them broken and shattered before a God who knows what's REALLY going on. Now imagine this man walking painfully barefoot on the
broken glass from the window before an omniscient God.

tired of running things/like you done made me King/
living life without love just like them crashed
cymbals/
tryna stay on my knees/i keep getting up please/
i got no peace, I'm dying! Lord i need You/

Sometimes it takes us losing our masks for us to realize we don't need them. Honestly, keeping an appearance of a "clean" life is worse than just being dirty (Revelations 3:14-18). And it's a waste of time. Same as doing "good" for selfish reasons instead of because of love. Sincere, pure love (1 Corinthians 13:1). When we do this, something inside of us should say "this doesn't feel right". It might take some time, but followers of Christ know better. Our Spirit is grieved causing us to say "I got no peace, I'm dying! Lord, I need you!"

reflect your light as it burns my eyes/
lose myself in your Glory if it hurt my pride/
hurts inside, requires humiliation/
but my obligation is Your illumination/
peel my selfish skin/cuz my self is sin/
and i'm tired of losing ground, now, help me win/

Now, the awesome thing that happens when we come to God truly broken is God is able to use us much more effectively. God wants to break down what we've built with our hands and instead build something more glorious. Something that glorifies and reflects Him. Yes it hurts. Believe me, I know. Letting go of what we have and what we know is not an easy task but it's required for us to truly illuminate our Father (Matthew 5:16). It requires us saying to God "My way isn't working. You can do this better than I can. Here, take my life. Help me win."

I know you love me, regardless of what I do/
but I want to make you happy, proud, when I'm through/
so what I'll do, place on the altar...my will/
Stay...like clay and let your have your way, till I'm
Broken

I'm not a parent yet, but I have siblings and close friends who are and I'm doing my best to learn from them. I know parents don't wait till their kids get it right before they start loving them. My sister doesn't tell my 4 year old niece she doesn't love her until she's able to cook perfect jollof rice and fried plantains. Emmanuel doesn't tell his son that he needs to start paying bills to earn his love. The children are loved WAY before they could earn that love. Even when all they do is keep their parents up all night and make them deal dirty diapers. They are loved. We are loved. And that's the good news I decided to end with. Though I really want to make my Heavenly Father happy (in spite of me failing frequently), it's not because I'm trying to earn his love. He loves the guy with the mask on and He loves the guy without the mask. That's HUGE! We're not just talking anyone's love here. We're talking about the being who created this whole planet and is still running things. The one who can start and stop the storming weather... figuratively and literally. If He loves you, then He's gotta be looking out for you, right? He's gotta be. So why not place your will on the altar and let it stay like clay and let Him have His way.

Now, listen again:
Broken by Truth's End (P.e.t.e.r o.m.e.g.a. & dogfight!)

5DM: 5th Dimension of Music

I can remember sitting in my English Literature class in college and listening to my lecturer give multiple lectures about one poem. Not multiple poems by a single poet; one poem. She picked a classic poem from poets like Edgar Allen Poe, Lord Byron, or John Milton; then spent the next few weeks breaking it down line by line, stanza by stanza. We not only learned what the poet wrote but when he wrote it, why he wrote it, and the underlying meaning. I actually enjoyed this but I wonder if we were correct in our analysis. Would it be any different if the poet actually gave a lecture about the poem himself?


The same can be done for songs. A lecture or a series of lectures could be done on songs by The Beatles or Bob Marley or better yet pick a song from your church hymnal. How much better if it were done by the author, lyricist, or composer. Well, that's exactly what I just decided to do. I'm going to take one of my songs or a verse from one of my songs and beak it down for you to read. I'm also going to get some other artists/writers/poets to do the same. I'm calling it the 5th Dimension of Music (or 5DM). Why that name? That's because I believe the first four dimensions are:


-Casual listening
-Intentional or active listening
-Watching (live or video)
-Reading the lyrics.


The 5th dimension is going beyond just reading the lyrics but also why they were written and the message the author intended his/her audiences to get out of it. Some songs are so well written that you are forced to enjoy them in 5 dimensions. As you would imagine, some will be more encouraging and inspiring; some just comical or simple. Some will be longer than others will. Hopefully none will be a waste of your time.

Feed-It-Right Friday: Propaganda

Besides the Bible, finding food to "feed the right dog" can get tricky. I very much encourage all to dig in the Good Book; but allow me to make some recommendations for supplemental feeding. Now, these are MY recommendations. I take them seriously but you can choose not to do the same.

This week: Propaganda

If you haven't heard of dude, Where have you been? Here's a crash course:



and



He has a new free (yes I said free) record, Art Ambidextrous, at www.HumbleBeast.com. Cop it!

Peace! and have a great 4th of July Weekend.

Free Music - Hip Hop featuring Edub

Listen and download

A good friend of mine who is talented in many ways graciously blessed this track with me. Not only is Edub sick on the mic, she's also an amazing pastry chef. She bakes some cookies to die for and has a following that's growing rapidly. Today is her birthday. Happy birthday Edub! Check out the music and then her website (feel free to make an order) and be sure to wish her a happy birthday on twitter at @e_dub_a_licious. I really enjoyed the track and us going back and forth. Some might argue she makes me look bad; you judge for yourself.

Hip Hop featuring EDub by dogfight!

Took My Place (with lyrics)

Took My Place by dogfight!

The perfect substitution
while I was in confusion
I came to a conclusion
Heaven thought my soul was worth a bloody crucifixion
Now listen...
I did the crime, ready to do the time
but my sentence was eternity hell's flames burning in me
knew my date with destiny would be coming soon
been cursed since birth born with a poisoned spoon
never tasted death but i coulda smelled its breath
my flesh wanted to dance with sin hell was next
never knew anybody would want to cut in
my life was a collage of rage hurt and sin
so when i heard the choppin of wood, that cross was my fate
and in my head nothing good could come out of this day
yes, this day...i'll never forget
tried to erase His face ...cant disregard it
the guard came, grinned as he undid my chains
couldnt believe it, i'm thinking this isnt a game
expecting to catch a spear, i act in fear
run as fast as i can "i aint going back in there"
my attempt to flee led my face to the dusty floor
a kick in the head made certain i wouldnt try to run no more
dragged to my feet, brought before Pontius Pilate
the crowd roared but he demanded they be silent
my peripheral caught Jesus, the innocent Jew
self-proclaimed Son of God, now the crowd had to choose
this was just a formality, Jesus prayed and healed
He aint no criminal my fate was sealed
but God had a different game plan
The prince of peace's decease was the price to save man
to save me! why did they have to pick me?
to stick me as the alternative to the sin free
the crowd was mistaken...Pilate's hands were shaking
Mary's heart breaking as the jews made a bold statement.
Pilate asked again but the crowd was relentless
their words vocalized and verbalized Jesus' death sentence
Free Barrabas? Crucify Jesus? but why?
Why do i get to live and the Son of Man die?


Shoulda been me on that tree
Shoulda been me at Calvary
Shoulda been me who paid that price
Shoulda been me instead of Christ
but i was guilty
The life i lived so filthy
Lord You took my place
So I thank you Lord for Mercy and Grace


so I witnessed this spectacle from a safe distance
too ashamed to be seen but close enough to catch a glimpse of
the Son who came down to set captives free
beaten like a slave for alleged blasphemy
beaten beyond recognition,
eyes swollen with incisions, but never losing vision
His hands could barely hold on as His body shivered
seeing him drag that cross I could have cried a river
wanting to do something, but scared to get closer
that cross was too heavy kept falling off his shoulders
no way He would make it up the vie delarosa
if i was any bolder i woulda charged them Roman Soldiers
but i'm weak
unlike this man my talk is cheap
I weep when I think of what He took for me
but I can't let my shame keep from telling this story
by this time I'm going crazy
overcome with emotion, i'm wailing like a baby
bruised fist from punching holes in walls
bloody spit, like I just got lit in a brawl
but as much as i tried i couldnt stay away
its like He wanted me to see the price He had to pay
sometimes I still hear the banging of the nails
in perfect harmony with his voice hanging as he yelled
cried out to Heaven but instead got hell
It was as if the Love He came to share had failed
torn flesh revealed through his ripped skin
blood dripping, his frail body stretched thin
with one last glance his eyes met mine
no need to say more, I understood and cried
Father forgive them for they know not what they do
as He gave His final breath and died
(It is finished)

My First Poetry Slam Entry

Last Thursday I entered myself into an open poetry slam. It was a spur of the moment thing. The community college where I'm an adjunct faculty had an open poetry slam. I wanted to check out some of the poets and also recruit possible features for 832 Coffee House, an event I host every month. I thought perhaps I could enter myself. I did. Since it was last minute, I had to be put on the waiting list. On the phone with my wife on the way there; I still wasn't sure if I wanted to do it. I wasn't even sure what I poem or song I would do.

When I got there, I was initially told that because I was late I couldn't get on stage. I'm not sure if I was relieved or disappointed. I sat there and watched a few poets perform. A number of them were good but none would have been appropriate for 832. It seemed they were all either not very creative, too graphic, or profane. Right after a poet named Travesty was done doing a profanity-filled piece dissing the Texas state government, the announcement was made by the host that I should go talk to the organizer. Apparently she went to check with the judges and they said it was okay for me to perform. I sent a quick text to my wife and went on stage to perform "one wish" (from Prison of Stained Glass). It was the easiest for me to remember. At this point I'm thinking that I probably should have practiced since I have never done a poetry slam before and I haven't even rapped on stage in a long while. But I figured the audience would get the message from my piece and I wouldn't have to worry about the 2nd round.

To my surprise I made the 2nd round! Sweet! I was in the top 10 out of about 30 entries. But I hadn't really thought this far ahead and didn't know what to do next. I sent another text to my wife right before I got on stage. She was less suprised that I made the 2nd round. The 2nd round didn't go so well. I got through about 8 lines of Strange Land and stumbled. I tried picking it back up but to no avail. It still stings now thinking about it but it's not bad for my first time. I waited to hear them announce the top 5 but not long enough to hear the top 3. With preparation, I probably would have made the final cut but I didn't so I went back home a little embarassed but also a little excited. When you're in a real love relationship with God and an amazing wife, you don't stay down too long.