Feed The Right Dog!

5DM: Broken (2nd verse)

2011-09-01T18:12:00.000-07:00

Broken (verse II) by P.e.t.e.r. o.m.e.g.a. (Pain exudes tremendous excess rendering only miracles experienced grant aptitude.)

Listen to the song here (this is about the 2nd verse):
Broken by Truth's End (p.e.t.e.r o.m.e.g.a. & dogfight!)

The devil hit me where it hurt till it doesn't hurt like it should/
So if you peer within you'll find the worst works for my good/

If one hit their fist into a wall enough times for enough days it grows calloused. The callous is the body's automatic defense. My automatic defense is running back to the LORD.

If I'd have seen GOD then, in His seamless trend.../
I may have just found peace in Him.../
Both deeper out and deeper in and turned from my soot/

Clive Staples Lewis introduced this notion to me in his book "The Last Battle" (number seven in the Narnia series) and it b-l-e-w m-e a-w-a-y! Deeper out in this scenario could be in my surrounding circumstances, and deeper in.. well... enough said. The soot is what's left after a fire burns out. Even when my situation would burn itself out, I would remain in the soot and ashes...

Still not conformed to GOD'S Book so a met-a-morphisis/
Is not a term that I took I'd ever afford to grip/

"Do not conform to the ways of the world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind (by reading the Word of GOD.)!" -

If a change was necessary I did better to portion it/
To keep that change forever tarried and never conform to it/

Instead of Paul-esque reformations I only give up "this" and ease up on "that." before I knew it I was right back where I started with "this" and "that" right back in my possession.

Excuses! Each and everyone clever and forged with wit/
All found useless that serve better if severed and torn to bits/
I was so afraid of the truth that I'd never come forth with it/
Until my situations made en-deavor un-fortunate/
Circumstances, which weren't random, and I deserved what was put/
On my plate, so I ate, till my gut curved off the hook/
Of my belt. The taste itself made the plate deserve another look/
Yet I ate till the taste enflamed a rage and I turned to another cook/

Excuses are worthless and justification meaningless when you come to understand who you truly are in the light of Whom GOD truly IS. I started ignoring the truth until my life became such a mess that I couldn't bear it. Yet, not only did I bear it, I entertained it and actually continued as if things weren't that bad until I lost everything in my life that was dear to me. I was looked down on and talked about. Desolate and desperate for change to the point where desperation fueled my will to live for Christ and I begged Him to "teach me how to fight!"

The change, indeed, was mandatory and I'm blessed that the storm was sent/
Better my house to be knocked down than be absorbed by the Crook/
So thank You, Father GOD, that You never caught ghost and split/
And taught me "brokenness" - now let our pain be a worm on Your hook/

For life in Christ my life needed drastic change,and while everything isn't salvageable, anything can be rebuilt. So I praise GOD for the pain because without it I never could have truly known Him as Savior. I praise GOD that my ridiculous life was torn down and washed away before the enemy could invade and use it against me at some future point, or even worse, against the Kingdom of GOD. So now my brokenness is His glory in my testimony and foundation for new life in Christ while also serving as my reminder why that life isn't worth living. So I pray that the LORD will use this pain for His glory and offer it as common ground for understanding when witnessing. In so being, I can know that since GOD saved me HE WILL save anybody looking for His help, placing me out of the place where I judge peoples lives and, instead, pray for people's souls with the truest conviction, in some cases, because Poppa just picked me up out of a similar grave.

Now, listen again:
Broken by Truth's End (p.e.t.e.r o.m.e.g.a. & dogfight!)

5DM: Broken (1st Verse)

2011-08-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

5DM

About 5 or 6 years ago P.e.t.e.r. o.m.e.g.a (Emmanuel), Neosapien (Will) and myself got together on one of our many late night talks. Boy, I miss those talks. Our discussion got to Brokenness and what it means to us personally. The talk was so good, we decided to write a song about it. Emmanuel and I went on to write our verses and then recorded it for the song "Broken" on Birth Pains.

Broken by Truth's End (P.e.t.e.r o.m.e.g.a. & dogfight!)

Here's the breakdown of my verse:

walking on broken glass, pieces of my stained past/
shattered from my stained glass window/
what i held as a masterpiece/has been smashed in
pieces/
Jesus, i let go of my waxed ego/

Picture this: a beautiful masterpiece of a church complete with stained glass windows. The stained glass window signifies it's something religious. Everyone looks at it and says "wow! That's a beautiful church". Inside the building may be old and rusty; the windows may be all cobwebbed. But from the outside, you couldn't tell.

Now imagine that to be a person. Life seems pretty good from every angle. Good manners, debt-free, Sunday school teacher, praise and worship leader, etc. People look at him and say "wow! That's a good Christian." Maybe some say "I wish I had his life" or "why can't we all think and live like him?" Or maybe it's "He always has something good to say" or "Dude is so deep!" This guy knows others look at him the way they do; and he loves it. Not necessarily that it is true; but that's what it looks like in the eyes of observers. Now imagine if all that, for whatever reason, disappears. People don't look at him like they used to. That reputation? gone. That stained glass window? Broken. Shattered. Revealing the inside of the building. That's what I see when I think of brokenness. When we can take our past, accomplishments AND failures, and have them broken and shattered before a God who knows what's REALLY going on. Now imagine this man walking painfully barefoot on the
broken glass from the window before an omniscient God.

tired of running things/like you done made me King/
living life without love just like them crashed
cymbals/
tryna stay on my knees/i keep getting up please/
i got no peace, I'm dying! Lord i need You/

Sometimes it takes us losing our masks for us to realize we don't need them. Honestly, keeping an appearance of a "clean" life is worse than just being dirty (Revelations 3:14-18). And it's a waste of time. Same as doing "good" for selfish reasons instead of because of love. Sincere, pure love (1 Corinthians 13:1). When we do this, something inside of us should say "this doesn't feel right". It might take some time, but followers of Christ know better. Our Spirit is grieved causing us to say "I got no peace, I'm dying! Lord, I need you!"

reflect your light as it burns my eyes/
lose myself in your Glory if it hurt my pride/
hurts inside, requires humiliation/
but my obligation is Your illumination/
peel my selfish skin/cuz my self is sin/
and i'm tired of losing ground, now, help me win/

Now, the awesome thing that happens when we come to God truly broken is God is able to use us much more effectively. God wants to break down what we've built with our hands and instead build something more glorious. Something that glorifies and reflects Him. Yes it hurts. Believe me, I know. Letting go of what we have and what we know is not an easy task but it's required for us to truly illuminate our Father (Matthew 5:16). It requires us saying to God "My way isn't working. You can do this better than I can. Here, take my life. Help me win."

I know you love me, regardless of what I do/
but I want to make you happy, proud, when I'm through/
so what I'll do, place on the altar...my will/
Stay...like clay and let your have your way, till I'm
Broken

I'm not a parent yet, but I have siblings and close friends who are and I'm doing my best to learn from them. I know parents don't wait till their kids get it right before they start loving them. My sister doesn't tell my 4 year old niece she doesn't love her until she's able to cook perfect jollof rice and fried plantains. Emmanuel doesn't tell his son that he needs to start paying bills to earn his love. The children are loved WAY before they could earn that love. Even when all they do is keep their parents up all night and make them deal dirty diapers. They are loved. We are loved. And that's the good news I decided to end with. Though I really want to make my Heavenly Father happy (in spite of me failing frequently), it's not because I'm trying to earn his love. He loves the guy with the mask on and He loves the guy without the mask. That's HUGE! We're not just talking anyone's love here. We're talking about the being who created this whole planet and is still running things. The one who can start and stop the storming weather... figuratively and literally. If He loves you, then He's gotta be looking out for you, right? He's gotta be. So why not place your will on the altar and let it stay like clay and let Him have His way.

Now, listen again:
Broken by Truth's End (P.e.t.e.r o.m.e.g.a. & dogfight!)

5DM: 5th Dimension of Music

2011-08-21T21:08:00.000-07:00

I can remember sitting in my English Literature class in college and listening to my lecturer give multiple lectures about one poem. Not multiple poems by a single poet; one poem. She picked a classic poem from poets like Edgar Allen Poe, Lord Byron, or John Milton; then spent the next few weeks breaking it down line by line, stanza by stanza. We not only learned what the poet wrote but when he wrote it, why he wrote it, and the underlying meaning. I actually enjoyed this but I wonder if we were correct in our analysis. Would it be any different if the poet actually gave a lecture about the poem himself?

The same can be done for songs. A lecture or a series of lectures could be done on songs by The Beatles or Bob Marley or better yet pick a song from your church hymnal. How much better if it were done by the author, lyricist, or composer. Well, that's exactly what I just decided to do. I'm going to take one of my songs or a verse from one of my songs and beak it down for you to read. I'm also going to get some other artists/writers/poets to do the same. I'm calling it the 5th Dimension of Music (or 5DM). Why that name? That's because I believe the first four dimensions are:

-Casual listening
-Intentional or active listening
-Watching (live or video)
-Reading the lyrics.

The 5th dimension is going beyond just reading the lyrics but also why they were written and the message the author intended his/her audiences to get out of it. Some songs are so well written that you are forced to enjoy them in 5 dimensions. As you would imagine, some will be more encouraging and inspiring; some just comical or simple. Some will be longer than others will. Hopefully none will be a waste of your time.

Feed-It-Right Friday: Propaganda

2011-06-30T22:26:00.000-07:00

Besides the Bible, finding food to "feed the right dog" can get tricky. I very much encourage all to dig in the Good Book; but allow me to make some recommendations for supplemental feeding. Now, these are MY recommendations. I take them seriously but you can choose not to do the same.

This week: Propaganda

If you haven't heard of dude, Where have you been? Here's a crash course:

and

He has a new free (yes I said free) record, Art Ambidextrous, at www.HumbleBeast.com. Cop it!

Peace! and have a great 4th of July Weekend.

Free Music - Hip Hop featuring Edub

2011-06-19T15:06:00.000-07:00

Listen and download

A good friend of mine who is talented in many ways graciously blessed this track with me. Not only is Edub sick on the mic, she's also an amazing pastry chef. She bakes some cookies to die for and has a following that's growing rapidly. Today is her birthday. Happy birthday Edub! Check out the music and then her website (feel free to make an order) and be sure to wish her a happy birthday on twitter at @e_dub_a_licious. I really enjoyed the track and us going back and forth. Some might argue she makes me look bad; you judge for yourself.

Hip Hop featuring EDub by dogfight!

Took My Place (with lyrics)

2011-04-22T12:50:00.000-07:00

Took My Place by dogfight!

The perfect substitution
while I was in confusion
I came to a conclusion
Heaven thought my soul was worth a bloody crucifixion
Now listen...
I did the crime, ready to do the time
but my sentence was eternity hell's flames burning in me
knew my date with destiny would be coming soon
been cursed since birth born with a poisoned spoon
never tasted death but i coulda smelled its breath
my flesh wanted to dance with sin hell was next
never knew anybody would want to cut in
my life was a collage of rage hurt and sin
so when i heard the choppin of wood, that cross was my fate
and in my head nothing good could come out of this day
yes, this day...i'll never forget
tried to erase His face ...cant disregard it
the guard came, grinned as he undid my chains
couldnt believe it, i'm thinking this isnt a game
expecting to catch a spear, i act in fear
run as fast as i can "i aint going back in there"
my attempt to flee led my face to the dusty floor
a kick in the head made certain i wouldnt try to run no more
dragged to my feet, brought before Pontius Pilate
the crowd roared but he demanded they be silent
my peripheral caught Jesus, the innocent Jew
self-proclaimed Son of God, now the crowd had to choose
this was just a formality, Jesus prayed and healed
He aint no criminal my fate was sealed
but God had a different game plan
The prince of peace's decease was the price to save man
to save me! why did they have to pick me?
to stick me as the alternative to the sin free
the crowd was mistaken...Pilate's hands were shaking
Mary's heart breaking as the jews made a bold statement.
Pilate asked again but the crowd was relentless
their words vocalized and verbalized Jesus' death sentence
Free Barrabas? Crucify Jesus? but why?
Why do i get to live and the Son of Man die?

Shoulda been me on that tree
Shoulda been me at Calvary
Shoulda been me who paid that price
Shoulda been me instead of Christ
but i was guilty
The life i lived so filthy
Lord You took my place
So I thank you Lord for Mercy and Grace

so I witnessed this spectacle from a safe distance
too ashamed to be seen but close enough to catch a glimpse of
the Son who came down to set captives free
beaten like a slave for alleged blasphemy
beaten beyond recognition,
eyes swollen with incisions, but never losing vision
His hands could barely hold on as His body shivered
seeing him drag that cross I could have cried a river
wanting to do something, but scared to get closer
that cross was too heavy kept falling off his shoulders
no way He would make it up the vie delarosa
if i was any bolder i woulda charged them Roman Soldiers
but i'm weak
unlike this man my talk is cheap
I weep when I think of what He took for me
but I can't let my shame keep from telling this story
by this time I'm going crazy
overcome with emotion, i'm wailing like a baby
bruised fist from punching holes in walls
bloody spit, like I just got lit in a brawl
but as much as i tried i couldnt stay away
its like He wanted me to see the price He had to pay
sometimes I still hear the banging of the nails
in perfect harmony with his voice hanging as he yelled
cried out to Heaven but instead got hell
It was as if the Love He came to share had failed
torn flesh revealed through his ripped skin
blood dripping, his frail body stretched thin
with one last glance his eyes met mine
no need to say more, I understood and cried
Father forgive them for they know not what they do
as He gave His final breath and died
(It is finished)

My First Poetry Slam Entry

2011-04-16T21:20:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday I entered myself into an open poetry slam. It was a spur of the moment thing. The community college where I'm an adjunct faculty had an open poetry slam. I wanted to check out some of the poets and also recruit possible features for 832 Coffee House, an event I host every month. I thought perhaps I could enter myself. I did. Since it was last minute, I had to be put on the waiting list. On the phone with my wife on the way there; I still wasn't sure if I wanted to do it. I wasn't even sure what I poem or song I would do.

When I got there, I was initially told that because I was late I couldn't get on stage. I'm not sure if I was relieved or disappointed. I sat there and watched a few poets perform. A number of them were good but none would have been appropriate for 832. It seemed they were all either not very creative, too graphic, or profane. Right after a poet named Travesty was done doing a profanity-filled piece dissing the Texas state government, the announcement was made by the host that I should go talk to the organizer. Apparently she went to check with the judges and they said it was okay for me to perform. I sent a quick text to my wife and went on stage to perform "one wish" (from Prison of Stained Glass). It was the easiest for me to remember. At this point I'm thinking that I probably should have practiced since I have never done a poetry slam before and I haven't even rapped on stage in a long while. But I figured the audience would get the message from my piece and I wouldn't have to worry about the 2nd round.

To my surprise I made the 2nd round! Sweet! I was in the top 10 out of about 30 entries. But I hadn't really thought this far ahead and didn't know what to do next. I sent another text to my wife right before I got on stage. She was less suprised that I made the 2nd round. The 2nd round didn't go so well. I got through about 8 lines of Strange Land and stumbled. I tried picking it back up but to no avail. It still stings now thinking about it but it's not bad for my first time. I waited to hear them announce the top 5 but not long enough to hear the top 3. With preparation, I probably would have made the final cut but I didn't so I went back home a little embarassed but also a little excited. When you're in a real love relationship with God and an amazing wife, you don't stay down too long.

Progaganda - G.O.S.P.E.L.

2011-03-27T21:51:00.000-07:00

I know I've been quiet but I promise you'll be hearing from me soon. In the meantime, check out this vid from Propaganda.

G.O.S.P.E.L. from Humble Beast Records on Vimeo.

Yeah. You're welcome.

My '5 things' for 2011

2011-01-10T11:41:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!
Yes, after 10 days the year can still be referred to as 'New'. Maybe not as new as it was on the 1st of the year but you can't really call it 'old' now. So, happy new year!

At the end of last year I remembered the blog I posted over a year ago as my "resolutions" and wondered how good I had been at keeping them. Well...ummm ... that's old news. The past. I know you don't want to read or hear about 2010. On to 2011!

Five things I want to do or have this year:

5. Get a twitter account.
Actually I already had one but now I'm going to be an active user. Follow me @The_Dogfigga

4. Let people know Prison of Stained Glass is on iTunes.
Starting now. Here it is: Prison of Stained Glass - dogfight!

3. Live with less focus on performance and more on passion
Not that performance isn't important. In fact I believe when we are passionate about what we do; more times than not, it will show in the performance. Plus, the way God measures our performance is far from the way we measure it.

2. Pay less attention to accomplishments and more attention to accomplices.
...and BEING an accomplice. The greater the accomplices the bigger the accomplishments? Perhaps. I'll take winning people over winning prizes any day.

1. Ephesians 5:25
Never give my wife any doubt that I love her more than any other human on this planet can.

EpiphanySings "What is Love"

2010-08-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

This talented young lady was featured at 832 Coffee House a few months ago. Enjoy the vid:

Hello World 8/3/10

2010-08-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

What am I reading?
Let's see. I was just given the audio book version of Everyone Communicates, Few Connect by John C. Maxwell. It's a really good book. I love the way Maxwell thinks. I am learning how to be a better communicator...errr connector. I always thought of myself as a decent communicator but I fall short when it comes to making long-lasting connections.

What am I writing?
Apart from this blog; not a whole lot. I know I should be but I just haven't. No excuses. I know I need to get back to writing. I know I will. Soon.

What am I listening to?
I just recently purchased Brian C Wilson's CD and I'm enjoying it. I listen to some of my unreleased material every now and then and smile. And there's the thousands of music I've purchased over the years.

What music am I making?
If you don't count playing the drum set at church, none. My studio engineer passed away earlier this year and I haven't really thought about going into the studio. I do hope that my life makes music. And that's it's not just music but it's good music. Music that inspires. Music that lights up my world.

What am I learning?
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might...For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."

What am I teaching?
"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

The Answer by Corey Red & Precise

2010-04-27T09:26:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite verses of all time!

Mostly Sunny...more or less (New Year Resolutions)

2009-12-31T13:14:00.000-08:00

This morning had an eerie feeling to it. I felt odd as I got up and got ready to go to work (late, sigh). I got to the streets with a heavy fog that looked like it came straight out of a movie. My heart was heavy. And then got heavier as I got a phone call, news one of my friends had died. 36 years old. That's the second 30 something year old friend I've lost in the past few months. In that same period, I turned 30 myself. Has me thinking about my life so far and how unsatisfied I am with it so far. Needless to say, it hasn't been the most festive New Year's Eve for me or those who knew my homeboy.

But the weather forecast for tomorrow, the 1st day of 2010, says "mostly sunny". With that in mind, I wanted to share a few things I'm looking forward to doing in 2010. Things that will make me feel better about how I'm living the few years God's giving me here on this planet. I guess you can call them resolutions.

1. Facebook less and Face-the-Book more. Nothing wrong with facebook and other social networking sites. In fact I love being connected with people and being able to communicate faster. I've accomplished a lot through these sites and love them, but not when it's taking me away from more critical things I should be doing. Nothing more critical than staying equipped by reading the Bible and other books that feed the Spirit.

2. Fear less and Love more. Not that I don't love, I do. But it's just that after going through the jungle of fear and reason in my head, love doesn't look like love anymore. It's inorganic and looks formularized. Afraid that people can't handle it or might misunderstand it, I've really loved less. Fear and reason has ruled and love has suffered. I'm putting an end to that. People need love, whether they are ready for it or not. I'm going to love, and it's going to be unadulterated, uncensored, and never in question.

3. Fight less and Write more. I've had some fights this year. I fought others, fought myself, and even fought God. Undoubtedly I'll have to face some battles in 2010, but I want to avoid the unnecessary ones. And I'm going to write more. Write more poetry, more songs, more blogs, and more journal entries. One day, after I'm gone, the words God has given me will live on.

4. Give less hate, give more Grace. God's Grace is truly amazing. So amazing that I want to share it with others. If people's sins don't separate them from God's love, while should it separate them from mine. I'm going to see people make mistakes, and I'm going to help them recover from it. I'll see them fall and let them step all over me to get back up. I'll see some rising to the top and help push them even higher.

5. Less me, more Jesus. The world doesn't need me; they need Jesus. I don't need me, I need Jesus.

I hope as the dawn of a new year approaches we experience no more fogs or storms but a year that is "mostly sunny".

Happy New Year
Tope

1 Wish!

2009-09-16T20:22:00.000-07:00

This is a spoken word piece that is actually on Prison of Stained Glass

Stranger Than Fiction (2 of 2)

2009-09-11T14:28:00.000-07:00

Part 1

I've always known that God is the Author of my story; the Author and the Finisher. Now I want Him to be everything in between as well. But as I give every single detail over to Him I'm reminded just how important our individual stories are.

The other night I was at a Bible Study with a couple of my friends. Actually it was just three of us and we were breaking down Ephesians chapter 4. Great and timely discussion that stirred so much inside of me. My buddy Noe read a passage from the book Crazy Love that I don't think I'll forget for a while. In fact, I'm thinking about purchasing a copy of the book even though I don't have a whole lot of free time to read it. I was reminded of the magnitude of God and how minuscule I am in comparison. Also the magnitude of eternity and how minuscule my life span is in comparison. It makes all my fighting, complaining, selfishness, pride, and envy seem stupid.

The reality is that my story, your story, our stories, are all a part of an even bigger story. Each individual story is like a paragraph on the page of a book that has millions of pages. Think Adam & Eve, Abraham, Moses, Joseph, Rahab, Elijah, Daniel, Hosea, Mary, Peter, John, Paul, Barnabas, etc. And then think of Joan of Arc, Constantine, Napolean, Shakespeare, Martin Luther, John Calvin, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, George Washington, Winston Churchill, Queen Elizabeth, Mahatma Ghandi, Adolf Hitler, Dr King, Mother Theresa, etc. Trillions more have walked on the face of this planet and they all have their stories. And imagine all these stories are all in the same book.

God is not only the author of the book; He is also the subject. The book is about Him. Every story, including mine and yours, points back to Him. Every detail; your career, public service, ministry, and yes even your romance is written for the ultimate purpose to bring Glory to our God.

God pays so much attention to us; sometimes He makes us feel like we are the only ones on this planet that matter. His love for us is so strong and extravagant that it doesnt seem possible for Him to love everybody else the same way. But He does. While you're trying to get God to make our lives the greatest story ever told, remember the story isnt even about you. Nor is it about me. It's beyond us. Beyond our time. Beyond time, period. He exists beyond the limits of time. The big story, the big picture, is about Him. The Creator of this universe. Remember that.

Stranger than Fiction (part 1 of 2)

2009-09-07T19:48:00.000-07:00

Labor Day 2009.
A day spent grading assignments at home left me with an evening wanting to do something adventurous. So I found myself walking around Borders bookstore with my iPod in my ear browsing the Religious section and at the same time doing a lot of thinking. Thinking about my life - past, present, and future - reminded me of the movie Stranger Than Fiction. Its been over a year since I watched it so I might be a little off on the details but travel with my thoughts for a minute.

The movie stars Will Ferrell and Dustin Hoffman among others. Ferrell's character finds out that his life is actually a book being written by some author battling writer's block. He starts hearing a voice (the author's) narrating his daily activities and thinks he's losing his mind. The author has no clue she's actually writing the true story of a man but everything she rights about him comes to pass. His once boring life became a world of interest when he falls in love with a woman. You can imagine his hurt when he finds out the author is going to kill his character (him) before the book ends. He somehow finds out where the author works and shows up at her office trying to change her mind.

Now let's imagine our lives as books or stories in a book. If you could get the author to change anything what would you change? What (or who) would you remove from or add into your life? Ever feel like whoever was doing the writing was going through writer's block? I was thinking about this when I saw a book at Borders. A line on the cover of the book said something that got my attention. It said "...letting God write your romance...". Now there's many ways I would like the romance in my life to read. I remember the night I watched the movie; I was experiencing the end of a relationship I really didn't want to end. Gosh, I wished I could have run into an office building and begged my author to rewrite my story so that this person wouldn't leave. I had said and done all the right things that I knew how to. How could she leave after I gave hear my heart. She had me doing stuff for her I had never done for anybody else (and probably will never do for anybody now). But I still couldn't make her stay. I tried to write out my story but couldn't get it to end the way I wanted.

Truth is we all want to write our story. We want to be at the author's typewriter and punch at the keys that tell our story. Our success story. Our career story. Our family story. Our romance story. It's really hard to be still and live out the life someone else is writing. But the most beautiful romance is the one written by the Author of life Himself. His plan for your life story is so much more beautiful than any "boy meets girl" story you can imagine. Better than any "rags to riches" tale you can come up with in your head. You may not see it now but just wait till He's done with it. Oh how He wants to inspire many with your life story. He knows exactly how. After all, He's been doing it for a while. Since the beginning of time to be exact. He knows why he/she walked out of your life. He knows why you are where you are right now; doing what you're doing. It's all part of the wonderful beautiful story He's writing. And only He knows how it ends.

Every time I try to "make things happen", it doesn't. Or it does for a minute but then ends in a disaster. So I'm done fighting Him. I'm done trying to re-write or finish my story. I'm done trying to figure out why, or when, or how. My romance. My career. My legacy. My life. I want it all to rest like playdoh in His Hands. Like a still blank page. And let Him write away.

"God, You started this story. And I'm going to let You finish it. "

In case you are wondering, Will Ferrell's character in the movie doesn't die at the end of the book after all. The author wrote him getting into a really bad accident but he recovered and lived happily ever after (whatever that means) with the love of his life.

(part 2 coming later this week)

Strange Land

2009-09-01T11:30:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a friend of mine, who happens to be Mexican-American, the other day and she shared with me some of the struggles she had growing up. She was raised in the U.S. but never totally felt American. She was always reminded that she didnt totally fit in no matter how much she tried. She did all she knew to do to look American, talk American, act American, be American. But she couldnt shake the Mexican in her and never quite felt 'American' enough. She just couldnt fit in.

Originating from a foreign culture myself, I definitely can relate. I went through my years of identity crisis. Every now and then I'm reminded I'm still a foreigner; I dont quite fit in. I feel the same with music. It's like the music i'm totally feeling is despised by the majority. The songs I feel should be hits are slept on while the radio plays tunes that hurt my ears. It's like nobody hears what I hear. I just can't fit in.

My beliefs in Jesus Christ make me even more foreign. I don't have to say or do much different to be treated differently or rejected because of my beliefs. Sometimes its the stereotypes and generalizations about us Believers that leave us left out. Rejected. It's like nobody sees what I see. I just can't fit in. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ashamed of my past (my heritage) and defintely not ashamed of my future (my Faith) but my present sure does feel strange

listen to Strange Land on myspace NOW

Breathe & Believe...while grocery shopping

2009-08-21T20:49:00.000-07:00

Yet another random video with some great music

Breathe & Believe snippet from 832 Movement on Vimeo.

I AM

2009-08-19T09:56:00.000-07:00

I AM

(circa August 2002)

I Am...

"i am what i am" and "i can when i can"
come "stand where i stand" and you'll "demand for a fan"(hell's hot)

your hand me down knowledge, thoughts recycled through years in college
you "fear to acknowledge" my existence for theories full of garbage
no i'm not God the Father, God the son, nor God the Holy Spirit
actually i'm the opposite, i exist to twist the truth so you don't believe it
yeah God is everywhere, well i'm catching up real quickly, but you don't see me
i've disguised my devices so skillfully, and YOU can free or unfree me
part of my master plan, is to distract you from the Master's plan
then snatch you from the Master's hand, have you runnin like the taliban
cuz i am....your mental supplier supplying you with those suicidal thoughts
and i can...boost your ego when you rob your liquor store and don't get caught
plus i ran...up your intellect and stripped it of most of its moral conscience
and i stand...to fall, but all y'all, will be my fellow residents
though i lose, your soul i'll win, you don't hate me, YOU LET ME IN
through the tv, radios, and stereos, all up in your mind the sin begins
i'm in the clothes you sport, the pain and hurt, your quest to get up a skirt
i'm in the sites you read, the nights you bleed, supplied your weed, from dirt
i was flying the plane, that came, that destroyed the New York City skyline
i was the pen that wrote, lyrics that broke, spirits and you called it a fly rhyme
i am disaster, i am death, i am the profanity in your every other breath
i am murder, i am rape, i am the cocaine in your brother's head
i am sickness and i am starvation, i am fraud and i am voodo
i am weak, i am helpless but i am strong cuz i control you

i am...

"I am what I am" and "I can when I can"
come "stand where i stand" and you'll "understand" my whole "plan"

I am Omniscient, I know it all, I am wisdom that taught you "how to crawl"
but you chose to walk without my guidance and in your ignorance..."now you fall"
I am Omnipotent, all the power you could ever need i "already got"
I made the universe with one verse, and I'm keeping the sun "steady hot"
I am Omnipresent, I'm everywhere I see the most wicked of all your deeds
I see your greed, I see your weed, I see as your mind in its inner "core bleeds"
I see your heart striving for "righteousness", seeking the light but "not just yet"
persecuting My messengers speaking LIfe and spreading the truth about My love "not just death"
I am Life,I'm the reason you "read and write", I am the breath you "breathe as life"
when your soul was "dark as night", I came through with the "beacon Light"
listen child, I was there to hold you tight the night your mom took her life
I will put food on your table, keep your pockets stable, your soul alive
I am Love, a love that gives without taking till it can give no more
a love that doesn't force its way, but someday, will be adored
a love that I've put in every man's heart, but not every "man starts"
to reach out of the flesh, and digest from Heaven's "vanguard"
I am the Creator, nothing exists or will exist or come to be without Me
your land, your plants, your ants,all man, and still you can stand to doubt Me
I am Life, I'm "bleeding ink", to your destiny I am that "missing link"
out of Me flows more Glory than water flowing from your "kitchen sink"
Think...read my "blueprint",the One True "Jehovah" is bound to stay on His throne
I am THE GREAT I AM, I do all that I can, so no man, has to stand on his own

I AM...

I am what I am and I can when I can
come stand where I stand lift your hands and say Amen

I am human, born into this sinful world from my mother's womb
cursed by the deeds of Adam, sentenced to eternity's tomb
consunmed by the desires of my flesh, I lived chained to the grave
now I'm chained to life through Christ's cross stained as He gave
gave Life through death, brought healing through bloody stripes
renewed and renamed me called me "blessed" and soon His wife
I am who I am today because of Who God is
I live the life I live because I'm not mine I'm God's kid
I am becoming a portrait of my Maker so all can see His beauty
I am becoming His voice and His hands but not so you can view me
I am invisible just so you can see He's invincible
a mouthpiece to relate NOT DEBATE His divine principles
I am part of a body, a family and truly we're indivisible
We spit truth, to the grown and the youth, trying to plant new fruit, but they find it inconceivable
I am what I am 'cause God said that I am
and if you don't like me, its cool, you ain't gotta shake my hand
But please shake His hand, and let Him show you a new plan
loose you from this deceitful world, make you a free man
I am an injector of Truth, like a reflector of Light
I am like a polygraph...a detector of liesI try but my insides cry till my eyes dried with hands of frailtyI am weak, I am poor, but I pour strength and wealth because God lives in me

This Is Just A Warning

2009-08-13T07:54:00.000-07:00

So, this morning on my way to work I got pulled over. I was driving on 5th street, [sarcasm]and I totally love 5th street[/sarcasm]. Anyways, i'm getting pulled over by a cop on a motorcycle. I immediately went into "innocent until proven guilty" mode even though I knew I was going over the speed limit. So I pull into the parking lot of a park (same one where I used to play basketball back in the day), thinking this is not the best way to start my day. So the cop gets off his bike and gestures for me to let my window down. I did, of course. He then asked for my driver's license. No "Good morning", no "how are you doing sir?" no "Hey, arent you dogfight!? I love your music". None of that. I mean the least he could have done was asked for my autograph. Geez!

Anyways, I obliged and gave him my driver's license. He then tells me he pulled me over because I was speeding AND my registration had expired. I had no excuse for the registration but like anyone in my shoes would do; I told him I had no idea I was speeding. He then tells me I was driving at 45 mph in a 30mph zone. No way! I took a couple of seconds to think of an intelligent response as I saw him writing up what looked like a ticket. I'm stuttering trying to come up with words to keep him from continuing to write; actually considered crying. (In hindsight, i'm realizing that its just a ticket that I could either take a drivers safety course and get dismissed or just pay the couple hundred dollar fine. Definitely not worth crying about).

So he hands me the piece of paper he had been writing on and tells me to go get my new registration sticker. And then he says the five word phrase that totally changed my life (okay maybe not life, but at least my morning). He says "this is just a warning". All of a sudden I no longer wanted to jump up and fight this cop who is much bigger than me; now I wanted to jump out of my car and give him a big bear hug. But then I remembered he had a gun so I just smiled and thanked him.

A bit dramatic? Yeah I know but for the record, this is the first time EVER i've been pulled over and just been giving a warning. And this was for not just one but two offenses. I've always wondered what it felt like and after today I wonder no more. This makes me think of all the offenses I've committed against the Almighty God and how I deserve eternal damnation. I broke the law and deserve the punishment. But just like the cop this morning, the Lord has mercy on me. Instead of a ticket to hell, He lets me off with the opportunity and the ability to get right.

10Jesus stood up and said to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" 11She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more." JOHN 8

But unlike this Stafford Police Department officer, the decision cost God the sacrifice and humiliation of His Son dying on a man-made Cross. Thank You Father, thank You Jesus. I'm now going to get my registration sticker. First thing tomorrow.

Grace & Peace

Prison of Stained Glass promo fEETuring ... dogfight!

2009-08-11T11:35:00.000-07:00

dogfight! Dancing on Stained Glass (promo for Prison of Stained Glass) from 832 Movement on Vimeo.

Video: Revolution!

2009-08-11T10:38:00.000-07:00

Welcome

2009-08-11T09:38:00.001-07:00

Welcome. Grace & Peace to you, my brothers and sisters. I want to thank you for taking the time to visit my blog. It is an honor that you would take the time to read, listen, or watch what lil ole me has to say. There's so much you could be doing with your time and I'm humbled that you've chosen to spend a few of the moments given to you by God with me. Hope its not a waste.